MAN MAROONED ON DESERT ISLAND (FOR THREE DAYS)

A man was rescued by the Coast Guard after he says he spent three days marooned on an uninhabited island after his sailboat broke down in the Bahamas. A Coast Guard cutter spotted the 64-year-old firing flares from his disabled vessel last Friday near Cay Sal, located between Florida, Cuba and the Bahamas, the maritime agency said in a statement. The Coast Guard airdropped supplies, including food, water, and a radio to establish communication. The man said he’d been stranded for three days after his sailboat became disabled. He was later picked up by the Coast Guard cutter and was said to be in good health.
* He wasn’t even there long enough to grow stubble, much less a beard.
* Three days is long enough to ditch the drugs, I suppose.
* Remember Boaty McBoatface? This was Crappy McCrapboat.
* As a joke, the Coast Guard should also airdrop these guys a volleyball.
* “Cast Away 2: Not Really a Big Deal.”