MAN IN PANDA SUIT STEALS PELLET RIFLE

Police in Williston, Vermont (* What ‘chu talkin’ about, Williston?) say a young man walked into a Dicks Sporting Goods and looked at an air rifle, but left without buying it. He told employees he’d be back to buy it. Later, at about 8:20 p.m. Monday, the guy walked into the store wearing a panda costume (* How do they know it’s the same guy?), picked up the airsoft rifle and ran out of the store without paying for it. Police responded, but were unable to locate the suspect.
* Did they check the bamboo thatch?
* Cutest robbery ever.
* So there are two Dicks in this story.
* I thought monkeys were the kleptos of the animal kingdom?
* Police have the security tape. It’s all there in black and white.