MAN HITS HIS MOTHER WITH A LIGHT SABER

A Pennsylvania man was arrested for allegedly beating his mother with a Star Wars light saber. Police responded on April 27 to a disturbance call in the town of Dubois and found Joan Vargas, 75, bleeding from gashes on her head and wrist. Vargas told police that her son Andrew had hit her repeatedly with a light saber. She could not say why Andrew – who is 42, 6’ 4”, and 330 pounds – struck her with the pretend weapon, which was just one of many in his collection. When confronted by cops, Andrew Vargas denied striking his mother, and claimed that she was “hitting herself” and that “she has many issues.”
* That’s great – he’s trying to pull a Jedi mind trick on the cops with that “hitting herself” routine.
* He’s 42 years old and has a collection of light sabers. And his MOTHER is the one with issues?
* I sense a disturbance in his head.
* He must have hit her with the light saber because his thermal detonator was in the shop.
* At least it wasn’t turned on, or the mom would have been sliced to pieces.
* Well, THIS is going to be an awkward Mother’s Day.