MAN CLAIMS TAYLOR SWIFT TOLD HIM TO STAB A GUY

A 43-year-old Portland, Oregon, man was arrested last week after stabbing a stranger with scissors because – he claimed – Taylor Swift told him to do it. The victim was walking down the street when Brent Shannon Thicksten was “acting weird” and started chasing him with scissors. Thicksten ended up making contact with the victim, leaving a 2 inch laceration on his back. An officer spoke with Thicksten who said that “my wife told me to kill him.” He said that his wife was Taylor Swift and that he was trying to save everyone. When asked where his wife was right now, he replied “we are one.”
* Is this what Taylor Swift meant when she sang “Look What You Made Me Do”?
* He’s “trying to save everyone” … from going through life without stab marks.
* I hope they charged the guy not only for the stabbing, but for running with scissors.
* Meanwhile, Taylor is going, “No, you idiot, I said stab Katy Perry!”
* Folks, if this happens to you, remember to always counter “Scissors” with “Rock”.