MAN ATTACKS GIRLFRIEND WITH PIZZA

A Brookfield, Ohio, man was arrested last Tuesday after he attacked his girlfriend, at one point hitting her in the face with a pizza. Kenneth Evans, 24, was arrested after he allegedly got into an altercation with his 23-year-old girlfriend. She told police he repeatedly screamed at her, pushed her head and hit her in the face with a pizza while she was driving. Evans was arrested for domestic violence, and continued with his “belligerent behavior and mood swings” while at the police department. Evans was suspected of being intoxicated with alcohol, rather than any kind of mood-altering drugs.
* So, he’d been hitting the sauce, eh?
* His girlfriend wasn’t the only one who was pie-eyed.
* At least he didn’t give her a slice – with a knife.
* “When a goon hits your eye / With a big pizza pie / That ar-restin’.”