LIZARD FOUND IN STUDENT'S LUNCH SALAD IS NOW CLASS PET

A central New Jersey elementary school science class has a new pet after a lizard was discovered in a student’s salad. Riverside Elementary School science teacher Mark Eastburn says the 3-inch green anole lizard was found in a bundle of tatsoi greens last week by a kindergartner. The lizard had been cold and lifeless after being in a refrigerator for days. The lizard has since been warmed and lives in a cage in Eastburn’s class. The lizard, which the kids named Green Fruit Loop, came from Florida. The tatsoi had been bought from Whole Earth Center in Princeton. A store produce manager says greens are cleaned as they’re stocked and that the lizard must have been tucked away in a leaf.
* Oh, it was tucked away in a leaf? That makes it okay then.
* Whole Earth Center. As in, “the whole earth, including its reptiles.”
* “The greens are cleaned as they’re stocked … just not very well.”
* Do they at least get a fine for selling animals without a license?
* The science class should go over to the store and see if they can find any tarantulas in the bananas.
* The nice part? Even the kitchen staff didn’t clean the salad before they dumped it into the cafeteria serving bowl.
* It could have been worse. It could have been half a lizard with the child’s teeth marks still on it.
* I predict this leads to a big uptick in kids bringing their own lunch to school.
* This could lead to a new expression that replaces turning lemons into lemonade.
* How about: “When your school lunch salad gives you a lizard, don’t fret. Just turn it into your new class pet”?
* See, that’s the good thing about serving unhealthy food at schools. Nothing can live in it.