LADIES: CELEBRATE YOUR MUSTACHE

The Billie company, which makes razors for ladies, has in the past encouraged women to grow out their armpit hair and their, uh, “dare hair” – you know, down THERE – and now, as part of the annual Movember event which encourages men to grow out their beards, the company wants women to let their mustaches grow all month for charity. Billie co-founder Georgina Gooley says the company is on a mission to normalize body hair for all women. She says, “Mustaches felt like the perfect next body part because, despite the fact that we all have them, no one talks about them, let alone celebrates them. We’re hoping to de-stigmatize upper lip hair and empower women to feel confident with having hair there. We’d love it if having a mustache was just as normal for women as it is for men.”
* The board of directors for the Billie razor company has just forcibly removed Georgina Gooley from her office.
* “Hey, check out that gorgeous woman in the red dress – she looks just like Groucho Marx!”
* In other news, General Motors encourages everybody to take the bus.
* Well, ladies? Who amongst you will be the first to go full “Tom Selleck”?
* Well, okay on the lip hair. But unibrows are where I draw the line.