KING PENGUINS POOP LAUGHING GAS

According to a Danish scientific study published last Thursday, Antarctica’s king penguins excrete such copious amounts of nitrous oxide, or laughing gas, that researchers go a little wacky studying them. Professor Bo Elberling, of the University of Copenhagen, who led the study, writes, “Penguin guano produces significantly high levels of nitrous oxide around their colonies. The researchers went ‘cuckoo’ from being surrounded by penguin poop. After several hours, one begins to feel ill and get a headache.” The nitrous oxide is explained by the penguin diet of krill and fish, which contains high levels of nitrogen. It’s released from the penguins’ feces into the ground and soil bacteria then convert it into nitrous oxide, which is 300 times more polluting to the environment than carbon dioxide.
* 300 times more polluting? Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
* So THAT’s why farts are so funny.
* Leopard seals are too goofy from the gas to do anything but laugh at the penguins.
* This explains why the penguin caretakers at zoos are always walking into walls.
* And that reminds me of a joke: What’s grey? A melted penguin.
* That one always gets a big laugh in the penguin colony, but now we know why.
* This study was supposed to come out three years ago, but the researchers were way too stoned.