KEN DOLL TURNS 60

The Ken doll, Barbie’s longtime “companion,” turned 60 this week. Barbie was introduced March 9, 1959, and Ken came along on March 11 in 1961. Robert Best, Barbie senior director of design at Mattel, says Ken is a “good friend and a best friend, a supportive best friend to the Barbie doll.” (* Just friends? No benefits?) The company said it is working with several fashion designers to celebrate Ken’s birthday and showcase him as an influencer. Ken’s new looks will be viewable on Instagram with the handle @BarbieStyle.
* Like a 60-year old knows anything about Instagram. Who are they kidding?
* Ken, 60 years old. Still with the abs. Still with all his hair. Bastard.
* You think this is scary? Bratz just turned 20!
[NOTE: If you have a guy on your morning team, you could turn these next jokes into a “live” ad-lib interview with the 60-year-old Ken! Have “Ken” describe what it’s like to be 60]
* At 60 years old, Ken has had some problems:
– His joints are starting to get stiff – or stiffer, actually – and he has trouble putting on a shirt, unless he bends his arms waaaay back behind his shoulders.
– He had to go over to the Mattel’s Operation game for a knee replacement.
– At his age, Ken suffers horrible insomnia because, of course, HIS EYES NEVER CLOSE.
– Ken falls a lot, especially when he’s just propped up against the dresser.
– At least he doesn’t suffer from incontinence because, as we all know, he has no genitalia.
– Sadly, Ken just sits in the Barbie house all day and watches the plastic TV.