KANGAROO ATTACKS JOGGER BECAUSE OF HER SARAH JESSICA PARKER PERFUME

An Australian jogger was attacked by a kangaroo who may have been attracted by her Sarah Jessica Parker perfume. Tracy Noonan was out jogging on Saturday in the Melbourne suburb of Beaconsfield. She had put on a spritz of SJP perfume before her jog, as we all do, because she was out of deodorant. Noonan said that while she often sees kangaroos on her jogs, one particular kangaroo took a special interest in her, following her along and even jumping three fences to get closer. She soon felt the kangaroo hit her in the back, causing her to fall to the ground. Cautiously standing back up and inching away, Noonan distracted the kangaroo long enough to find safety inside a stranger’s home. But that didn’t stop the kangaroo from sniffing around the driveway. For 20 minutes, she stayed inside with the residents — one of whom went outside to scare the ‘roo away — only to find that her stalker was still waiting for her when she eventually left their house. A local park ranger would later tell Noonan that her perfume — from Sarah Jessica Parker’s collection — was perhaps the reason that the kangaroo took such an intense interest. “It was something out of a horror movie,” she said.
* Why? Because of all the jump scares?
* Koalas like the perfume too, but they don’t attack you, they just go back to sleep.
* So the perfume really gets kangaroos hopped up, huh?
* Now the kangaroo won’t stop texting her.
* If there’s a better advertisement for Sarah Jessica Parker perfume, I’d like to hear it.