KALE-EATING RECORD

Gideon Oji is New York state’s kale-eating champion. Mr. Oji gulped down 22½ 16-ounce bowls of kale in eight minutes during Sunday’s Kale Yeah! Competition at the Erie County Fair in New York. That’s 22 pounds of kale. The kale was served raw with oil and vinegar. He even beat famous hot-dog-eating champ Joey Chestnut, who consumed 20 kale servings. Oji is Nigerian but now lives in Marrow, Georgia. He won last year’s contest, too, consuming 25½ servings.
* The winner received a roll of dental floss.
* Kale? State Fair food is getting grosser and grosser.
* He’s going to have so much gas, he’ll be able to levitate back to Georgia.
* Now his toilet is refusing to let him sit down.
* And his colon is seeking political asylum.
* Oh, well. This too shall pass.