INTOXICATED WOMAN ARRESTED FOR HITTING NEPHEW AFTER FALLING ON GOAT

In today’s Mad Libs headline, a Pensacola, Florida, woman is facing a battery charge for allegedly hitting her nephew after she fell on top of a goat while intoxicated. Deputies say that Jan Strickland had gone inside a barn to hold a goat. Her level of intoxication caused her to fall on the goat, and her nephew then attempted to removed her from the barn. While she was being removed, Strickland struck her nephew in the chest three times and shoved him into a barn stall door. Deputies found Strickland on the side of the barn. She was not responsive and not alert. But once she was awakened she became combative and attempted to strike deputies.
* Boy, if Florida deputies had a nickel for every time THAT’S happened.
* “Mom! Aunt Jan’s after the goat again!”
* Did the goat at least get a couple of kicks in?
* Aunt Jan is in a ba-a-a-a-a-d way.
* When Jan drinks too much, it really gets her nephew’s goat.
* If only she was a HAPPY drunk.