IF YOU COULD TALK WITH YOUR DOG

Reddit asked, “If you could have a 10-minute conversation with your pet, what would you discuss?” Some of the responses:
– “I would be letting my two cats give me a performance review.”
– “I would try to convince my dog to savor his food more, it’s not going anywhere.”
– “My dog will go outside, turn and bark at me 3 times, then come back in. I would really like to know what that is about.”
– “I’d ask my cat just exactly what foods he prefers.
– “The litter needs to stay in the box.”
– “9 minutes telling the dog what a good boy he is, followed by one minute explaining to the cats that I am not, in fact, furniture.”
– “I have to trim your toenails so you don’t end up crippled. I am not murdering you.”
– “He doesn’t need to intimidate squirrels in the early hours of the morning.”
– “I talk to my dog about politics all the time.”
– “If you stop barking at strangers and other dogs all of your dreams can come true.”
– “Rent.”
* You know what I’d ask? “Mind if I record this?” I’d make millions.
* How about “Eat anything interesting lately?”
* I’d ask my dog, “How’s life?” You know what he’d say? “Ruff.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What would you ask your pet if you could have a short conversation with them?