HUNTER WAKES UP BEING EATEN BY A BEAR

A hunter asleep in the remote Idaho wilderness woke up when he felt something tugging on his hair. Stephen Vouch, 29, reached behind his head and felt it was wet. He yelled when he realized a bear was biting at his head. Vouch was in the rugged area hunting bighorn sheep with friends. His scream startled the bear, which jumped and hit the tarp above where they were sleeping. The tarp tumbled, entangling the animal and the hunters. One of the other hunters shot the bear with a .45-caliber handgun. It scrambled into a nearby tree. Vouch, cut but not seriously injured, then shot and killed it. Vouch said he and his friends were prepared with medical supplies for emergencies but didn’t have a satellite phone, so he didn’t receive medical care for three days. The hunting group patched him up, then rafted downstream before flying out of the remote Frank Church River of No Return Wilderness. Vouch was treated at a hospital for cuts to his head and released.
* Which part of “River of No Return Wilderness” did he not understand?
* Never, ever use pic-a-nic basket-scented shampoo when camping.
* This is why I only camp out on my sofa.
* And that’s only when I’m bad.
* What was the beer thinking? That if he chewed really quietly the guy wouldn’t wake up?
* This guy found himself in a very awkward position: namely on the menu.