HOW TO TALK TO ANIMALS: INSTRUCTIONS FROM A REAL PSYCHIC

A self-proclaimed animal psychic has revealed how we can all learn to communicate with our pets in five simple steps. Beth Lee-Crowther, 52, from Worcestershire, England, says she’s been able to hear animal’s thoughts and feelings since the age of three. She says, “I could hear a voice in my own mind but I knew it was coming from my pet.” Beth has devised a technique that helps you get into the right state of mind to communicate with your pet. Ready? Here it is:
– Step 1: Calm your mind. Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it for a slow count of seven, then breathe out through your mouth. Do this three times. (* Then, when you wake up from passing out due to lack of oxygen, move on to Step 2.)
– Step 2: Tap your third eye. With your eyes open, take your middle finger and place it in the center of your forehead. Tap this point with your fingertip gently seven times. Then, raise your eyes upwards, slowly close them and imagine yourself in a familiar place that you love, such as at the beach, in a field… (* or Outback Steakhouse.)
– Step 3: Think of the animal you want to communicate with. Within your mind, say their name three times and ask them to join you.
– Step 4: Ask them questions, such as, “How are you feeling?” (* or, “Did you do that on the carpet?”) The answers may sound like your own voice in your mind. You may sense an emotion, or even catch the scent of an aroma. (* “Aroma? You DID do that on the carper!”
– Step 5: Before you open your eyes, mentally thank the animal.
* Well, you can’t argue with the science.
* This information is worth exactly what Beth Lee-Crowther charged for it.
* Will this get my neighbor’s Chihuahua to stop barking?
* This is an awful lot of work just to ask my dog if he’s seen my car keys.
* This brings up all sorts of questions. Like, if you have a third eye, is your optometrist going to charge you 50% more?
CLIP: Here is 2:30 minutes of new-agey music to play in the background.