HOW CORONAVIRUS IS AFFECTING THE RICH

So you’ve been sitting around thinking, “I wonder how the rich are being affected by coronavirus?” Here’s how:
– A person living on New York’s Upper East Side next door to a prominent television producer says his domestic staff is asked to strip down when they arrive, and their street clothes go into a black bag to be sanitized, while they change into a pristine uniform.
– Many clients are offering to let their nannies live-in; they can avoid traveling and having to argue with the doorman about being let into the building.
– Melissa Psitos, owner of Lily Pond Housekeeping Services, says a lot of her housekeepers are refusing jobs now because they don’t want to be exposed.
– Psitos adds that she’s been getting calls from clients asking for doctors and nurses willing to live-in, just in case they get sick, so they can get easy access to testing.
– And this: “People have suddenly started asking me to staff yachts. They have become so concerned about the virus that they feel the safest place to be is offshore.”
* Good move, living on your yacht. It’s hard for people to swim with pitchforks and torches.
* Sheltering-in-place is also hurting rich people’s ability to organize their secret games of hunting humans.
* Doormen – who knew that one day they would, unasked, step up and be our protectors? Well, not OUR protectors – rich people. But yay for the doormen.
* We’re going to need a series of YouTube videos to teach the rich how to clean their own toilets, wash dishes, do laundry …