HOUSTON: NOW THE FIRE ANTS

The only thing the media likes more than a good disaster like Hurricane Harvey is piling on in the midst of that disaster. So, without further ado: here come the fire ants! Houstonia magazine is reporting that floating colonies of fire ants, as many as 500,000 in one group, are banding together to stay above water in flood-wracked Houston – and they bite, though no one says they have been bitten yet. Paul R. Nester, a specialist with the Texas A&M AgriLife Extension Service, told Houstonia magazine: “Floodwaters will not drown fire ants. Floating fire ant colonies can look like ribbons, streamers, mats, rafts, or an actual ‘ball’ of ants floating on the water.” If the ants do get on your skin, Nester suggests you quickly rub your skin until they disperse (* genius!). He also tells Houstonia that, while water won’t wash them off, “a spray made of diluted biodegradable dishwashing liquid may help immobilize and drown them.”
* Now these poor people are supposed to carry a jug of dish soap with them?
* Hundreds of tons of residue from flooded buildings dispersing through the environment, and he’s worried that a squirt of dishwashing liquid be biodegradable?
* The ants bite, and so does Paul R. Nester.
* I thought the alligators were eating the fire ants.
* “Release the Kraken!”