HELP WANTED: AIR FORCE PILOTS

The U.S. Air Force is struggling to fill a shortage of 700 fighter pilots by the end of the year, as the U.S. battles in three air wars against ISIS in Iraq, Syria and Libya. Air Force General David Goldfein calls the shortage a crisis. “Air superiority is not an American birthright,” Goldfein said. “It’s actually something you have to fight for and maintain.” Airmen have also told Fox News that, in addition to the pilot shortage, they are short 4,000 mechanics as well. Shorthanded crews are now forced to scrounge for spare parts in museums and the “boneyard” – a graveyard of planes in the Arizona desert – to fix their planes because the parts are not made anymore. The Air Force has grappled with pilot retention for some time, particularly as commercial airlines look to hire them, promising higher salaries and benefits than the Air Force can give them. General Goldfein says the Air Force needs the authority to increase bonuses for all pilots in order to address the shortage.
* Then there’s the whole “being shot at” thing.
* If this is supposed to boost enlistments for pilots, I don’t think it’s going to work.
* “Hi. I’d like to sign up and learn how to fly one of these fighter jets you don’t have enough mechanics for.”
* Maybe we’d have spare parts if we hadn’t sold $30 billion worth of fighter jets to Saudi Arabia in 2011.
* Fun fact: While Hillary Clinton was secretary of state, the Clinton Foundation accepted millions of dollars in donations from both the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and Boeing. Then her State Department approved the sale of $30 billion in fighter jets to Saudi Arabia – to be built by Boeing.
* Uh oh. If this keeps up we may have to cut down on the unnecessary wars.
* Hey, do you want your son dying for Syria?
* I’d get the mechanics first or this plan will literally not get off the ground.
* Hello? They’re called drones.
* Wait, did it really say we’re getting spare airplane parts out of museums? Thanks for telling me that – I haven’t had my shot of crazy yet this morning.