GUILTY MAN TALKS FOR 20 HOURS AT SENTENCING

A German man was found guilty of committing three bank robberies. On Monday, at his sentencing, the judge asked him if he had anything to say. He talked for 20 hours. Michael Jauernik, 71, rambled on about his criminal career which started in the 1970’s, his fitness routine of doing situps and 5-K runs, and how he went back to robbing banks when his pension payments weren’t enough. After 20 hours, the judge in Hamburg’s district court cut him off (* Gee, what’s the rush?) before sentencing him to 12-and-a-half years in prison. She also told him, “You suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder, which was on display to everyone who followed the trial.”
* She gave him a sentence, he gave her a novel.
* The guy burned through five court stenographers.
* He had to stop talking. His dentures were starting to smoke.
* At least he didn’t start in about the grandkids.
* Pity the guy’s cellmate.