GREAT GRANDMA SLUGGED RIGHT IN THE BREADBASKET

A great-grandmother is recovering after she said she was hit in the face several times by a shopper inside an Atlanta, Georgia, Walmart store. The woman, who asked not to be named, was using one of Walmart’s mobility scooters, shopping in the bread aisle. She said another woman stepped out in front of her and cussed at her. “As I went around her, I said, ‘You’re the bitch,’” the woman said. At that point the attacker punched her once from behind and then got in front of her and punched her five more times in the face. Walmart security eventually came to help her and that’s when she noticed her attacker had left her phone in the scooter. Said the victim, “Seems God did that, so we could find her.” Atlanta police have identified the suspect. Said the great-grandmother, “I thought I was safe. I’m in Walmart.”
* Has she ever been in a Walmart before?
* This is the place where people find themselves super-glued to the public toilet seat.
* She was in the bread aisle, and she got a knuckle sandwich.
* These scooters need to have a faster speed.
* God made the suspect drop her phone in the scooter? Why didn’t God make the suspect shop there a half-hour earlier?
* God: All-powerful, all-knowing, not the greatest when it comes to strategy.
* “You’re the bitch.” Great grandma, or GREATEST grandma?
* That suspect is toast.
* Well, at least they resolved their differences quickly.
* What about all those phony service dogs? Why didn’t one of those jump in?
* Where I live they let you call anything a service dog. The store looks like a dog show.
* Maybe we should replace the mobility scooters with Harley Davidsons.