GOLD BARS HIDDEN IN CAT BOX STOLEN

A Florida couple’s stash of gold bars was stolen by a neighbor whom they asked to help them during Hurricane Irma earlier this year. With Irma approaching Florida in September, Cynthia Copley, 70, and her 69-year-old husband frantically made plans to evacuate. But they needed help moving $26,000 in gold bars they’d bought for their retirement. They asked their neighbor to help them move the bars – which were hidden in a cat litter box – to a boat on their property for safekeeping. About a week later, they discovered their gold was missing. They called their neighbor, Corey Lofton, who had helped them move the gold bars, but he told them he had moved. They called the sheriff. Now, three months later, Lofton is facing grand theft charges as well as violation of probation charges stemming from a drug arrest. Why did the Copleys stash between 15 and 20 gold bars in a cat litter box? “We were frantic,” Copley said. “We were so worried about the storm. Unfortunately we didn’t think about anyone taking advantage of us.” The Copleys, who are stupid, invested in gold to help prepare for retirement. Investigators haven’t said whether they recovered any of the gold.
* But there’s a big pile of cat litter waiting for them in the evidence room, so they’ve got that going for them.
* Okay, $26,000 in gold bars ALMOST weighs one pound. How feeble are these two?
* A jug of Tidy Cats litter weighs 20 pounds! What did they do, bring it into the house by the pocketful?
* How many times have I said: Never hide your gold bars in a litter box and ask a drug-addicted neighbor to help you move them to a boat. How many times have I said those exact words???
* And, not to rub it in, but these days, $26,000 will get you to about St. Patrick’s Day.