FRIDAY, May 31 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, May 31, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL MACAROON DAY

NATIONAL SPEAK IN COMPLETE SENTENCES DAY

SAVE YOUR HEARING DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Save Your Hearing Day reminds us that our hearing is vital, and needs to be protected. Many hearing loss problems are avoidable. Hearing loss can result from a variety of reasons, including: health, genetic and environmental causes. On the environmental side, repeated long term exposure to loud, high decibel noises can overtime cause hearing loss. This cause, in particular, is often avoidable. It’s been suggested that this bit of rock-n-roll trivia may have contributed to the establishment of Save Your Hearing Day: On May 31, 1976, The Who played at the Charlton Athletic Grounds in England and made the Guinness Book of World Records as the loudest rock band ever. Their musical performance measured 76,000 watts and 120 decibels.”

WORLD NO TOBACCO DAY

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE: THE NAUGHTY POPCORN BUCKET

On Thursday, “Deadpool & Wolverine” star Ryan Reynolds unveiled a suggestive ad teasing the vaguely naughty popcorn bucket for Marvel’s upcoming superhero team up. The bucket is a Wolverine helmet with a very, very wide open mouth. In the video, a gloved hand caresses the helmet, popcorn falls on its “face,” and then butter is dribbled on it. (* Yes, it’s very porn-ish.) On the side of the bucket, it says, “Designed by Deadpool.” The naughty popcorn bucket race began with the popcorn bucket for “Dune 2,” which resembled the mouth of a sandworm, and people of course turned it into something dirty. Says Reynolds, “Years from now they will look back at 2024 as when the War of the Popcorn Buckets began.”
* Well, now they’ve ruined popcorn for me.
* It’s almost as if Deadpool focuses on off-color material.
* A Wolverine helmet with a big mouth, when it’s Deadpool who never shuts up.
* Do you get the feeling they’re spending more creative energy on the popcorn buckets than the actual movies these days?
* Can we at least keep the soda straws G-rated?

WHAT CELEBS REQUESTED OF THEIR WAXWORKS AT MADAME TOUSSAUD’S

Madame Tussaud’s wax museum in New York City has revealed some of the secrets behind making their waxworks weawwy bewievable. Here are some of the things celebrities requested:
– Taylor Swift insisted on her figure being displayed in her actual, purple New York University honorary graduate outfit.
– Sofia Vergara wanted hers to wear a silver Marchesa gown she wore to the 2012 Met Gala.
– Bad Bunny is wearing the costume he wore in his Super Bowl LIV performance.
– Most posing sessions take about 6 hours. Megan Thee Stallion voluntarily spent 14 hours on multiple poses and looks.
– Jennifer Hudson wanted her nails to be different. So they sent her wax hands to her actual nail tech in Chicago to have the statue’s nails done to look like they did at the 2021 Met Gala.
– Glenn Close told them If the dog approved of the figure she said would sign off on it. And the dog did.
* The museum used to get requests from movie producers for Steven Segal’s wax figure to appear in his movies, because it was a better actor than the actual Steven Segal.
* Wouldn’t it be sad to have your image in a wax museum and they have to put a sign in front of it telling people who you are?
* Many celebrities are requesting their figures be shaved down after they took weight loss drugs.
* 6 hours posing, and then carving a hunk of wax. Explain to me again why these aren’t made with 40 seconds of laser scanning and then flawlessly perfect 3D printing?

MADONNA SUED FOR BEING SEXUAL
A fan is suing Madonna for allegedly being too sexual during her “Celebration” concert. Justin Lipeles filed a class action suit against the pop star in California, alleging she and ticket distributor LiveNation “purposely and deceptively withheld vital information” about the sexual content of the show, and that concertgoers should have been given a trigger warning before they sat through hours of onstage grinding, groping, and gyrating. (* And that was just in the audience!) Lipeles claims he and others were “forced to watch topless women on stage simulating sex acts” and likened the performance to “pornography without warning.”
* “It was all I could do to sit there and not leave!”
* He thinks it would be more appropriate for Madonna to come out and bake an apple pie. Or knit a scarf. Or sing a song about the yard sale she just stopped at.
* I’m sure this guy will find a judge who will look long and hard into the evidence.
* Like they say, a tiger can’t change its stripes. And a cougar can’t change its pointy bra, either.
* Ironically, he now wants to sue the pants off her.

THE BUZZ

SURVEY: A LOT OF US DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO COMMON THINGS

Here are the findings of a recent poll, from a UK smartphone company called Honor, of 2,000 British adults – although these results are probably pretty close to what you’d find in America. A lot of people don’t know how to do very common things:
– Nearly a quarter of adults – 24% – say they can’t ride a bicycle
– 28% say they can’t swim
– 50% can’t skateboard
– 43% can’t ice skate
– 46% can’t rollerblade
– 30% can’t play soccer
* A third of Brits can’t play soccer? That’s like if a third of Americans couldn’t identify a cheeseburger.
* The list is all vigorous physical activities. So for Americans, it’s not that we don’t know how to do them, it’s that we don’t feel like it.
* So the Honor smartphone company’s mission statement is to shame people?
* From my experience, 99% of people in the car in front of me can’t tell when the light changes to green.
* PHONE TOPIC: What common thing are you unable to do? Throw a Frisbee? Bowl? Use tools?

U.S. NEWS

ROBBER KEEPS FALLING THROUGH CEILING OF RED ROOF INN

In Crossville, Tennessee, police received a call on Tuesday of a robbery at a Waffle House. When officers arrived, they discovered a man armed with a folding knife assaulting two employees. The man then reportedly ran off into a wooded area with $388 in cash. Police then received a call from a nearby Red Roof Inn saying the man was possibly hiding in the building. They found the suspect hiding in the attic of the hotel, which he accessed through a utility room. After the man was found, he began throwing money at officers as they started using pepper spray, bean bags and a taser to remove the man from the attic. The 31-year-old suspect fell through the ceiling of three separate hotel rooms before being taken into custody. Police recovered $381 of the stolen Waffle House money.
* At Red Roof Inn, they put the effort into the red roof, not the ceilings.
* Red Roof Inn, now with skylights!
* The big mystery is, what’s a Waffle House doing with $388?
* The burglar caused quite a flap, jack.
* Now here’s The Weather Girls with “It’s Raining Men.”
CLIP: “Housekeeping!” from Family Guy
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)com/prep/wp-content/uploads/Housekeeping-FamilyGuy(dot)mp3

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

EGG-LICKING RUSSIANS

A Russian supermarket chain called Zhiznmart (* Jizzinmart? Really??) has come under fire recently for allegedly selling food products that put at least 18 people in the hospital with food poisoning. To earn back their reputation, Zhiznmart’s founder made a bold offer, promising to compensate each person proven to have been poisoned by his products with 1 million rubles ($11,000). Now, Russians are trying to get food poisoning at Zhiznmart to get compensated. Some people have been buying up Zhiznmart’s food products hoping that they would be contaminated enough to guarantee them a payday. Some resorted to licking eggs right in the dairy aisle to increase their chances of getting food poisoning. However, Zhiznmart has since clarified that the only people eligible to receive the 1 million rubles are the 18 who had originally been treated for food poisoning.
* Suck eggs, Russia!
* Eggs aren’t the only thing at the store people were licking, but we don’t want to make YOU sick.
* For a minute there, the founder had egg on his face, but luckily he didn’t eat it.
* Who came up with the ONE MILLION RUBLES that’s only worth $11,000? Dr. Evil?
* It always pays to run your money-back offer by a lawyer to get the wording right.

JAPANESE SENDING UP A SATELLITE MADE OF WOOD

A group of researchers in Japan have built the first satellite made of wood and are getting ready to launch it later this year to test its capabilities in Earth orbit. The experimental satellite was developed by scientists at Kyoto University, and is set to launch in September on board a SpaceX rocket headed to the International Space Station. It’s a small cube made from magnolia wood, measuring 4 inches on each side and weighing just over 2 pounds. There are electronics on it, but the parts normally made from aluminum are made from wood. The experiment is to try and reduce space junk, along with the benefit of having a wooden satellite burning up entirely when reentering Earth’s atmosphere. Another advantage is that wood doesn’t block electromagnetic waves, so the satellite could house its antennas inside its wooden body rather than on the outside. If the experiment is successful, it could lead to more wooden materials being used in construction, say, on the moon.
* Yeah, good luck finding a framing crew on the freakin’ moon.
* First, they tried making an origami satellite, but all they ended up with was a lot of little paper giraffes.
* There’s 9,000 metric tons of space junk up there, so kudos to Japan for not adding another 2 pounds.
* Wooden satellites – this could be just the thing to finally get the Amish involved in the space race: “We’ havin’ a satellite raisin’ on Tuesday, ah yep.”
* It’s so lonely in space, I bet it’s not the first time the astronauts have experienced space wood.

TRENDING

SOFIA VERGARA WANTS ALL THE PLASTIC SURGERY THERE IS

Sofia Vergara, 51, said in a new interview with Allure that she has plans to get plastic surgery, even admitting that she would have already had work done if she had the time to recover. Vergara says, “I feel like I’m going to do every plastic surgery that I can do when I’m ready. I wish I had more downtime; I would’ve done stuff already. But because I’m in front of the camera, it’s not like I can do something and then sit in my house recuperating for weeks.” (* Humblebrag!) She does admit to having used Botox “for a long time.” She gets injections in her neck and around her eyes.

LENNY KRAVITZ, CELIBATE

Lenny Kravitz says he’s been celibate for 9 years while on his spiritual journey. He says after his marriage to actress Lisa Bonet fell apart in 1991, Lenny he began acting like a player. But he wasn’t fond of that lifestyle and it took him years to take responsibility and shed that label … making sure his own desires didn’t take over. And all this discipline has led him to a 9-year streak of celibacy, saying, “It’s a spiritual thing. I’ve become very set in my ways, in the way I live.” He says he’s now waiting until he finds the right woman.

CHER WINS LAWSUIT AGAINST SONNY’S WIFE

Cher has won a lawsuit against the widow of her late ex-husband, Sonny Bono. When Sonny & Cher officially split up in 1978, their divorce settlement left Bono with ownership of their song catalog, and Cher with a 50% stake in publishing royalties. A few years ago, Bono’s widow, Mary Bono, tried to wrest back control of all the publishing rights to her late husband’s songs. The 78-year-old performer says she was still owed her half of the royalties. This week, a California federal judge ruled in favor of Cher, awarding her about $418,000 in royalties.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

June 14, Friday – Flag Day
June 16, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 20, Thursday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 4:50 P.M. EST)
July 4, Thursday – U.S. Independence Day
Sept. 2, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Wednesday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Sunday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 8:44 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Colin Farrell (actor, “Sugar”) … 48
Phil Keoghan (Host of “The Amazing Race”) … 57
Brooke Shields (actress) … 59
Lea Thompson (actress, “Switched at Birth,” “Caroline in the City”) … 63
Chris Elliott (actor, “Schitt’s Creek”) … 64
Joe Namath (football Hall-of-famer) … 81
Sharon Gless (actress, Christine Cagney in “Cagney and Lacey”) … 81
Peter Yarrow (folksinger/musician with Peter, Paul & Mary) … 86
Clint Eastwood (actor, director) … 94

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I don’t believe in pessimism.”

(A) Droopy Dog
(B) Wiley Coyote
(C) Clint Eastwood

ANSWER: Clint Eastwood

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2009 – Millvina Dean, the last survivor of the 1912 sinking of the Titanic, died in England at age 97.
* Did she say exactly where she dropped the diamond necklace overboard?

2005 – Former FBI official W. Mark Felt stepped forward as “Deep Throat,” the secret Washington Post source that helped bring down President Richard M. Nixon during the Watergate scandal.
* “Do I get a prize?”

1990 – The sitcom “Seinfeld” premiered on NBC.
* “Get to high ground! Here comes the money!”

1995 – America and Britain announced that their nuclear missiles were no longer aimed at Russia.
* Oh, great! So now they’re just pointing any old place? Nice!

1911 – The Titanic was launched.
* An early publicity stunt for the Leonardo DiCaprio movie.

1907 – The first taxis began service in New York City.
* The weird part – back in 1907, taxi drivers actually spoke English!

1880 – The first U.S. national bicycle society was formed in Newport, RI. It was known as the League of American Wheelmen.
* Actually, it was just a cover for a society of guys who wanted to wear spandex shorts.

1678 – Lady Godiva made her famous naked ride through Coventry in a protest of taxes.
* She rode bare-back. And bare-front.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – A report from the Midwest Medical Examiner’s Office in Minnesota said Prince died from an accidental overdose of the painkiller fentanyl. According to the autopsy report, Prince self-administered fentanyl, an opioid many times more powerful than heroin.

2014 – A Maserati and an unspecified amount of jewelry belonging to Miley Cyrus were stolen after her home in the San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles was burgled.

1998 – Geri Halliwell, also known as “Ginger Spice” of the Spice Girls, confirmed she was leaving the group.

1982 – R.E.M. signed a five-album deal with I.R.S. Records, an independent label based in California.

1976 – The Who played at the Charlton Athletic Grounds in England and made the Guinness Book of World Records as the loudest rock band ever. Their set was measured at 120 decibels.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to a recent survey, the average kid can do THIS, but the average adult can not. What is it?
Touch their toes

2. Compared to kids, adults are 50% more sloppy when it comes to THIS. What is it?
Handwriting

3. According to a recent poll, 42% of adults turn to their kids for help with THIS. What is it?
Fashion advice / what to wear

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