FRIDAY, Aug 23 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, August 23, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL SPONGE CAKE DAY

RIDE THE WIND DAY
The Cute Calendar website says this:
“Ride the Wind Day is the anniversary of the first human powered flight to win the Kremer prize – a series of monetary awards given to pioneers of human-powered flight. The first Kremer prize was won on August 23, 1977 by Dr. Paul MacCready when his Gossamer Condor was the first human-powered aircraft to fly a figure eight around two markers one half mile apart, starting and ending the course at least 10 feet above the ground.”

August is:

Black Business Month
Family Fun Month
International Peace Month
National Back to School Month
National Catfish Month
National Crayon Collection Month
National Goat Cheese Month
National Golf Month
National Panini Month
National Peach Month
National Sandwich Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

CHICK-FIL-A TO START STREAMING TV SERVICE

The Chick-fil-a chain, which makes a pretty good sandwich, has decided to build on their success by starting their own streaming service. The chicken restaurant plans to launch a slate of family-friendly original content, including scripted and un-scripted shows, and “a family-friendly game show.” It’s unclear what the shows will be about or what they will cover. The streaming service could launch as soon as the end of this year.
* That’s fine, but you won’t be able to watch it on Sundays.
* The ball’s in your court, KFC.
* Some of the Chick-fil-A TV shows in the works:
– The Kelly Cluckson Show
– Fryer Country
– Two-and-a-Half Hen
– Stranger Wings
– The Lincoln Layer
– Outer Free Range
– House of the Drumstick
– The Squawking Dead
– The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Poultry
– Saved By The Shell
– Kevin Can Cluck Himself
– The Young and the Range-Fed
– Matflock (or, if you’re feeling edgy, “Matcock”)

THE BUZZ

WOMAN HAS PROBLEM WITH CORPORATE EMAIL OVER HER NAME: S. HART

A woman named Samantha Hart has gone viral with a TikTok video explaining how her name always causes problems when she gets a new job. Samantha is about to start a new position, and points out that the company’s email structure for all employees is to use the first initial and the last name for the corporate email address. This means her email address would be S. Hart. Or, rather… shart. The video has prompted people with a similar problem to respond: Sue Hartlove, Shawna Harter, Sam Harting, Sam Hartman and Phil Hart. She also got responses from Steve Lutz, Tiffany Estes, Tara Watt, Patrick Ecker and Paul Enis.
* PHONE TOPIC: Do you or someone you know, as you go through life, have a problem with your name?

U.S. NEWS

ENTIRE POLICE DEPARTMENT QUITS

The entire police department of Marble Hill, Missouri – population 1,373 – has handed in their resignations. In a statement on Facebook on Wednesday, police chief Kristin Nenninger shared the resignation with the community, stating it will go into effect Friday (8/23). She writes, “This decision did not come easy… but I cannot faithfully support my officers and provide you, the citizens of Marble Hill, with law enforcement services you all deserve due to the city putting constraints on the budget and cutting into the Police budget.”
* Now’s the time to hit Marble Hill for all the marbles.
* You defund the police, you end up with a defunct police.
* The population is just 1,373, so I’m guessing the “entire police department” was her and the town’s auto mechanic who was only pitching in part time.
* In towns like this, everybody knows everybody else, so it’s pretty hard to get away with committing a crime anyway.
* Guys – I think I just found the plot of “Paul Blart, Mall Cop 3: Heavy Duty.”
* The police slogan “To Protect and To Serve” will now be “Goodbye and Good Luck!”

NEW STARBUCKS CEO WILL COMMUTE TO WORK ON PRIVATE JET SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK

Starbucks’ incoming CEO, Brian Niccol, is facing environmental criticisms after word got out that his $85 million contract only requires him to commute from his home in Newport Beach, California, to its headquarters in Seattle via a private jet instead of relocating. A Starbucks spokesperson said that Niccol will be expected to work from Starbucks’ Seattle office at least three days a week in line with the company’s hybrid work policies. Back home, in California, he will be working out of a “small remote office in Newport Beach, maintained at the expense of the company. People have been quick to point out the apparent hypocrisy in the use of private jets while the company’s promotes its sustainability efforts, such as a ban on plastic straws.
* Yes, but the private jet will NOT have plastic straws, so it’s okay, see?
* Just another reason we need Star Trek transporters.
* He wouldn’t burn more fossil fuels if he hitchhiked back and forth with people who were going that way anyhow.
* I’ll complain about this right after I get my coffee in the morning, thank you very much.

JERSEY SHORE COPS PUT SURFER IN CHOKEHOLD FOR NOT HAVING BEACH PASS

Jersey shore cops placed a surfer in a chokehold and threw him to the ground after he allegedly failed to display a beach access pass on his wetsuit. Liam Mahoney, 28, from Junction City, California, was surfing on Belmar Beach when he was restrained by police officers for not having a beach pass on him. He insisted “I have a badge with me, bro!” As the interaction grew tense, a woman in a bikini pointed to his beach bag and and shouted, “His badge is right here!” In video of the incident, Mahoney then tells police that a beach pass is on his bag — but when he tries to slip away from the cops, an officer places him in a chokehold and tackles him face-down in the sand. Mr. Mahoney was then hauled away in handcuffs by at least four police officers. Belmar Police Chief Tina Scott says a thorough review will be conducted.
* I get the feeling those cops didn’t really think of him as their “bro.”
* It’s not every visitor who gets the official Jersey Welcome. He should be honored.
* It’s New Jersey, bro. Beach pass is a very serious thing. More serious than their salt water taffy.
* Not having a Jersey beach pass is a gateway crime. It’s one step away from mob hit man.
* I guess the takeaway is, the surfing at Belmar Beach, NJ is pretty rough.

BUSINESSES ENGAGE IN SIGN WAR

Two North Carolina restaurants are in a full-blown “sign war.” A while ago, Ioanni’s Grill & Bar in Morehead City put up a message on their changeable sign reading, “Happy Birthday Jeff.” A month later, the neighboring restaurant Dank Burrito changed its sign to read, “Ioanni’s Quit Being Lazy, Change Your Sign.” Ioanni’s fired back, changing the sign to: “Dank, We Are Not Lazy, Just Busier Than You.” Oh, it was on. Dank Burrito responded: “Y’all Just Look Busy Because It Takes 2 Hours For A Dollar Taco.” And now, dozens of other businesses have chimed in with their own sign comments. You can see them on a Facebook group called “2024 Sign Wars Carteret County NC.”
– Taco Bell posted, “Guys, do we need to taco bout your fillings?”
– Lighthouse Realty wrote, “Stop beefing and start moving… to your new home.”
– Mac Daddy’s Bowling Alley: “Sign War? That’s Right Up Our Alley.”
– Fish Hut: “Taco Bout Busy – Have U Seen The Line At Fish Hut?”
– Another Mexican restaurant: “Queso Can We Just Get Some Tacos & Margs”
– Furniture Distributors: Don’t Be Jealous… We’re Bed-er Than You.”
– Free Will Baptist Church: “Lettuce Worship – Sunday 11AM”
* Before I say anything else … Who would want to eat a dank burrito?
* The town is crazy. The signs are everywhere.
* Like everything else, this wonderful little thing will end up as an ABC Reality Game Show Battle, like Christmas Light Wars.
* Just wait. People in town are gonna get fed up and start stealing the little plastic letters.
* I’m just surprised so many North Carolinians can spell.

ELON MUSK WANTS A MILLION VOLUNTEERS FOR A BRAIN CHIP

Elon Musk now wants to implant his company’s Neuralink chips into millions of people’s brains over the next decade. This is a chip that allows a person to interface with a computer. There have now been two people known to be outfitted with the implant. According to Neuralink, the second patient to be fitted with the device was able to use it to play first-person shooter games and design three-dimensional objects using computer-aided design (CAD) software just by thinking about it. He was also able to play a first-person video game that typically requires two separate joysticks to control the character. Potential applications include streaming music directly to the brain and improving eyesight to view new parts of the light spectrum. Musk says, “If all goes well, there will be hundreds of people with Neuralinks within a few years, maybe tens of thousands within five years, millions within 10 years.”
* “If all goes well”? Everybody okay with the sound of that?
* Isn’t this the same Elon Musk who sent two astronauts up with the wrong kind of space suits?
* The brain chip is great, but, boy, if your barber isn’t careful with those electric clippers your head could explode.
* They won’t reveal who the recipient of the second brain chip is, but they will say he gave a VERY SUCCESSFUL speech at the Democratic National Convention the other night.
* Coming soon: Elon Musk’s electronic zombie army vs. Mark Zuckerberg’s.

TRENDING

RICK STEVES HAS PROSTATE CANCER

Travel show superstar Rick Steves has announced to fans that he has prostate cancer. The 69-year-old longtime host of the PBS show Rick Steves’ Europe says he will undergo surgery next month at Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center-Seattle and is optimistic about his prognosis. He plans to be back at work by the end of October. Steves tells the New York Times he received the diagnosis a few weeks ago in a routine blood test. Further tests revealed the cancer—the second-leading cause of cancer deaths among men—has not spread, and thus Steves says his odds of a full recovery are strong. “But I’m going into it with eyes open,” he adds. “I mean, I’ve got cancer. That’s a serious thing.”

OLYMPICS POMMEL HORSE GUY JOINS “DANCING WITH THE STARS”

Stephen Nedoroscik, known as “Pommel Horse Guy” following his historic performance at the 2024 Paris Olympics, is capitalizing on his new-found fame in the most American way: he’s joined the cast of “Dancing With the Stars” Season 33. The 25-year-old gymnast – who was dubbed “Clark Kent” for his glasses – says he’s hoping to bring some of his pommel horse moves to the competition. “I want to do some flairs. I want to brings some of that gymnastics. Maybe a backflip or a handstand. I wanna have fun with it,” he said.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 2, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Wednesday – Patriot Day
Sept. 20, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 23, Sunday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 8:44 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 14, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Wednesday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Thursday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Scott Caan (actor, “Hawaii Five-0”) … 48
Jay Mohr (comedian/actor, “Suburgatory”) … 54
Dean DeLeo (guitarist, Stone Temple Pilots) … 63
Shelly Long (actress, “Cheers”) … 75
Rick Springfield (singer, actor, “Jessie’s Girl”) … 75
Richard Sanders (actor, “WKRP in Cincinnati”‘s newsman Les Nessman) … 84
Barbara Eden (actress, “I Dream of Jeannie”) … 93

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Good, bad, mediocre or whatever it is, if a director wants me in his movie, I take it as a compliment.”

(A) Nicolas Cage
(B) Johnny Depp
(C) Scott Caan

ANSWER: (C) Scott Caan

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2010 – No good wife-cheatin’ golfer Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin Nordegren, divorced.
* Sorry, no chance of a Mulligan.

2007 – The hashtag was invented and first used in a tweet by U.S. product designer Chris Messina.
* And he didn’t make a penny. So #dummy.

1990 – Iraqi President Saddam Hussein appeared on Iraqi state television with a group of Western detainees that he referred to as “guests.” He told the group that they were being held “to prevent the scourge of war.”
* And shortly thereafter we pounded his ass with missiles we referred to as “gifts.”

1989 – Pete Rose was banished from baseball for life for gambling.
* “I bet I’ll be back!”

1987 – A 15-year-old boy hijacked a KLM 737 jet and demanded $1 billion.
* Teenagers! “Gimme, gimme, gimme!”

1977 – A transportation record was set as Bryan Allen flew the human-powered aircraft “Gossamer Condor” for a mile under his own power.
* It was the first time a human-powered aircraft flew so far – and this was before the time of performance-enhancing drugs!

1904 – The automobile tire chain was patented.
* Great for keeping people from stealing your tires.

1500 – Eight years after discovering the New World, Christopher Columbus was arrested in Haiti for mistreating the natives, and sent back to Spain in chains.
* Stuff they didn’t tell you in grade school.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2019 – Taylor Swift released her seventh studio album, Lover, her first album after parting ways with her former label, Big Machine Records. All of the album’s 18 tracks charted on the Hot 100, breaking the all-time female record for the most simultaneous entries.

2013 – A man found in the pool house at Jennifer Lopez’s mansion in the exclusive Hamptons area of New York was charged with stalking. According to police, the singer had a restraining order against John Dubis, who was a retired firefighter. He was also charged with burglary, criminal contempt and possessing burglary tools.

2008 – Madonna kicked off her 86-date Sticky & Sweet Tour at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, Wales. Earning over $280 million, it became the highest grossing tour by a solo artist, breaking the previous record Madonna achieved with her 2006 Confessions Tour.

2007 – Comedy writer Buddy Sheffield sued Disney alleging that he originally came up with the idea for Hannah Montana but was never compensated by Disney. In the lawsuit, Sheffield claimed that in 2001 he pitched an idea for a TV series with the plot of a junior high student who lived a secret double life as a rock star. Disney settled out of court.

2004 – Queen became the first UK rock band to receive official approval in Iran, where Western music was strictly prohibited. Lead singer Freddie Mercury, who died of AIDS in 1991, was of Iranian ancestry and bootlegged albums had been available for years.

1999 – Don Henley sued Paramount Pictures, alleging the studio reneged on a deal to feature the song, “Taking You Home,” which he penned expressly for them for the hit film “Double Jeopardy.”

1995 – Natalie Merchant, one-time lead singer for 10,000 Maniacs, became the first guest in a series of live chats on the Elektra Entertainment Group’s website. Merchant said she wouldn’t make a habit of chatting on-line since it would hurt her eyes and make her feel lonely when her computer was off.

1993 – It was confirmed by Los Angeles police that Michael Jackson was the subject of a criminal investigation.

1968 – Ringo Starr quit The Beatles over a disagreement. He rejoined a few days later.

1969 – Johnny Cash started a four-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Johnny Cash At San Quentin.”

1969 – The Rolling Stones started a four-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Honky Tonk Woman,” the group’s fifth U.S. No.1.

1965 – Security guards at a Manchester, England TV studio hosed down 200 Rolling Stones fans after they broke down barriers while waiting for the band to arrive for a performance.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to a recent survey, the average person does THIS only three times a day. What is it?
Washes their hands

2. According to a recent survey, about 30 percent of us did THIS within the last 24 hours. What is it?
Took a nap

3. According to a recent survey, only 6% of people do THIS every day. What is it?
Make their bed

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