FIRED THE FIRST DAY

Reddit asked, “What’s the fastest way you’ve seen someone get fired?” Some of the responses:
– “New guy goes to the lunch room and takes a lunch. It was the boss’ lunch, boss found him covered in barbecue sauce. Told him, ‘I hope is was good,’ and got rid of him.”
– “First day on the job, guy gave a coworker a wet-willy.”
– “New supervisor start selling Amway from his office, hinted at favorable treatment for anyone who would buy. When HR came and asked if it was true, he pulled out a catalog and tried to sell them something. Fired on the spot.”
– “I saw a coworker once make a ‘big boobs’ gesture as our boss’ wife walked past….with our boss walking right behind her. Gone in five minutes.”
– “A new coworker explained to our supervisor how he found this great loophole for making extra money: if a customer had exact change, he’d just pocket the cash and cancel the order on the register.”
– “Dude’s first day on a team. As soon as the leader leaves the area he leans over to another guy and threatens that if he doesn’t do his work for him he’s going to ‘kick his ass after work.’ Word got up to the managers. He was escorted out, there all of 2 hours. On his way out he’s knocking over chairs and screaming that he’ll be ‘waiting for us in the parking lot.'”
– “First day at work for this new dude. We pick him up at 7:00AM… He hops into the car and goes : “When are we finishing work today? I’m beat. Can you guys buy me a pack of cigarettes? Oh, and just so you know, I only eat meat for lunch…” The boss stopped the car, and told him to get out. It was 7:03.”
– “New guy comes in and is suspiciously overzealous. Around 11 am he takes everyone’s lunch order – and cash – and just never came back.
* PHONE TOPIC: What’s the fastest you’ve ever seen anyone fired. Was it you?