EX-BOYFRIEND USED CHEETOS TO ACCELERATE FIRE

A Taunton, Massachusetts, man has been convicted for attempting to burn down his ex-girlfriend’s home while she was inside. Crews responded to the home in March after the woman and her friend reported that 31-year-old Shemroy Williams was trying to light it on fire. Williams had wedged a propane tank against the house while a fire on the back porch was burning. Police located Williams in the area with two lighters in his pocket and an empty bag of Cheetos. Investigators determined Williams tried to use Cheetos to accelerate the fire. He was sentenced to two-and-a-half years behind bars.
* It must have been a bag of those new “Flamin’ Hot” Cheetos.
* That’s felony waste of snack food.
* Was he trying to frame Chester Cheetah?
* This guy’s really carrying a torch for her.
* He was caught orange-handed.
* Okay, here’s a list of fire accelerants. Tell me which one doesn’t belong: Kerosene, gasoline … Cheetos.
* Plus they’d give the fire that weird Cheeto smell.
* I think he was more on target with the propane tank.
* It’s an interesting strategy: Include something really stupid in your crime so the judge thinks you’re an idiot and goes easy on you.
* Taunton, Massachusetts? Like from Star Wars?