EGG-LICKING RUSSIANS

A Russian supermarket chain called Zhiznmart (* Jizzinmart? Really??) has come under fire recently for allegedly selling food products that put at least 18 people in the hospital with food poisoning. To earn back their reputation, Zhiznmart’s founder made a bold offer, promising to compensate each person proven to have been poisoned by his products with 1 million rubles ($11,000). Now, Russians are trying to get food poisoning at Zhiznmart to get compensated. Some people have been buying up Zhiznmart’s food products hoping that they would be contaminated enough to guarantee them a payday. Some resorted to licking eggs right in the dairy aisle to increase their chances of getting food poisoning. However, Zhiznmart has since clarified that the only people eligible to receive the 1 million rubles are the 18 who had originally been treated for food poisoning.
* Suck eggs, Russia!
* Eggs aren’t the only thing at the store people were licking, but we don’t want to make YOU sick.
* For a minute there, the founder had egg on his face, but luckily he didn’t eat it.
* Who came up with the ONE MILLION RUBLES that’s only worth $11,000? Dr. Evil?
* It always pays to run your money-back offer by a lawyer to get the wording right.