DRUNK DRIVER TO POLICE: "CAN'T WE ALL MOVE ON FROM THIS?"

Police in Greenfield, Massachusetts, charged a man with his sixth drunken driving offense Thursday night after he allegedly drove onto a lawn in Deerfield. When David Brown, 52, was pulled over by city police, he told the officer that he didn’t have a license, and asked if he could give the keys to his wife, who was sitting in the back seat, “so we can all move on from this.”
* “Since you put it that way, sir, you’re free to go.”
* Sure, give her the keys and we’ll move on. She can go home, and you can ride with the officer to the drunk tank.
* Let me guess – he got that line from his last alcohol rehab therapist?
* You’re kind of in a bad bargaining position when your car is on somebody’s lawn.
* I think that Mexican drug lord El Chapo tried that defense: “Yeah, I’m running drugs and I’m responsible for hundreds of deaths, but I’ve seen the error of my ways, so can’t we all move on from this?”