DENMARK MOVES TO BUY CALIFORNIA

With all the bluster around the United States buying Greenland, which is actually controlled by Denmark, a Danish man has started making moves to buy California. Yes, it’s meant as a joke. Xavier Dutoit, the man behind the campaign, built a website looking for $1 trillion to buy California and turn it into a territory that spreads Danish values. According to the website: “Have you ever looked at a map and thought, ‘You know what Denmark needs? More sunshine, palm trees, and roller skates. We have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make that dream a reality. Mickey Mouse in a Viking helmet? Yes, please.” Under the proposed Denmarkification plan, Disneyland would get a new name, Hans Christian Andersenland.
* Mickey Mouse in a Viking helmet? Well, heck – it worked for Elmer Fudd.
* Wait for a couple more rounds of fires, and they can buy California for a few hundred bucks.
* I looked up “Danish values.” Topping the list:
– Trust: Danes trust each other in business, government, and personal relationships. Honesty is expected, and corruption is rare.
– Equality: Denmark has some of the world’s lowest income inequality and poverty rates.
… so, sorry, but this won’t work in California. Especially Hollywood.
* I don’t know much about Denmark, but I like their sweet rolls.
* And now Norway wants to buy North Dakota because, they say, it’s warmer.