CRUISE SHIP MEMO ASKS GUESTS NOT TO HAVE SEX WITH THE PIZZA

Vacationers on Norwegian Cruise Lines’ annual January “Holy Ship!” party cruise were greeted with a strange memo. Apparently, this needed to be said after an incident on the previous “Holy Ship!” cruise, although the letter does no say exactly what. Here’s the letter:
“Dear Guests,
Thank you for sailing with us for another year of Holy Ship! Where we offer dozens of fine foods available 24/7 in the Garden Cafe, we must remind you that the foods available in the cafe are for consumption only. Due to incidents on previous sailings in which patrons engaged in uncouth behavior in the cafe, we feel it is our duty to remind guests that pizza is for eating, not fornicating. Sexual acts with our handcrafted pizzas can bring unintended health consequences and can pose a safety hazard for other passengers aboard our journey. Lewd and/or sexual acts with our cuisines are not only frowned upon but are prohibited by maritime law. If you suffer from Sitophilia, or the sexual desire to fornicate with foods such as our pizzas, please inquire with one of our specialists in the medical bay below deck. Cheers! Norwegian Cruise Line.”
* Show me where in the maritime law book it says that.
* I love pizza but, y’know – like a brother.
* People are aroused by the Holy Ship! pizza ’cause it’s so saucy.
* “Uncouth behavior in the cafe”? Geeze, at least take the pizza back to your room.
* What kind of health consequences happen by having sex with a pizza? Gonnorhegano?
* Maybe this is what happens when you order the pizza with sausage.
* Usually on these cruises, it’s the excursions where you get screwed.