COUNTY EMPLOYEE STOLE $1.2 MILLION WORTH OF FAJITAS

In Brownsville, Texas, a juvenile justice department employee has been arrested for stealing $1.2 million worth of fajitas over the past nine years. Gilberto Escaramilla was caught when, one day back in August, he was out of the office at a medical appointment and a driver pulled up with 800 pounds of fajitas. The juvenile department didn’t serve fajitas. Authorities obtained a search warrant and found packages of fajitas in Escaramilla’s refrigerator. They checked old vendor invoices and determined he had been intercepting county-funded food deliveries and selling it to his own customers.
* His own customers? Whew! I was thinking he must weigh 2700 pounds by now.
* I thought the medical appointment must be for a jammed colon.
* Holy guacamole. They caught the Fajita Bandito.
* $1.2 million is a lot of dough. A lot of tortilla dough. Now I’m hungry.
* Of course the juvenile department doesn’t serve fajitas. This jerk takes them all.