COP STOPS VASELINE COATED, THONG-WEARING, PORN-VIEWING SPEEDER

In Enid, Oklahoma, last weekend, a cop pulled over a motorist who was covered in Vaseline and wearing only a thong bikini. A porno magazine was sitting on the passenger seat. According to the deputy, the driver, John Wayne Kellerman, 54, “had a bikini thong covering his genitals” and had Vaseline “covering his hands, upper and lower body parts.” The officer observed an opened jar of Vaseline that was nearly empty” and a “pornographic magazine in the passenger seat.” Kellerman handed a Vaseline-smeared ID card as a means of identification. He offered a rag to the officer to wipe off the card; the officer refused. Kellerman was subsequently arrested after a check revealed that his license had been revoked back in 1985, and he has spent most of the past 27 years in state prison on an assortment of charges.
* Well, I know my Halloween costume this year!
* Let me guess – he was late for a job interview?
* Another slippery character.
* Now THAT’S auto-eroticism.
* The weird part? The real John Wayne used to do this all the time.
* Now here’s Paul Simon with “Slip Slidin’ Away”.