CONCERT JERKS

It’s summer concert time. Are you going to a concert? (* Oh, look at YOU, Mr. Moneybags-Can-Afford-Ticketmaster-Prices.) According to Fodor’s Travel website, here’s how not to be a jerk at the concert:
– Don’t out-sing the performer. Sing along, but remember that everyone around you paid to see Taylor Swift, not you.
– Don’t shove or cut in line.
– Don’t spend the whole concert on the phone.
– Don’t spend the whole concert talking to your friend, only to stop when they play the one song you know, and then start talking again.
– Don’t throw things at the performer.
– Don’t get drunk and spill beer, or vomit, on everyone around you.
– If you crowd surf, you’re gonna get groped. Stop complaining.
– If you’re tall, be aware of the people behind you. Trade places with a short person a row or two behind you.
– Don’t hold up a large poster blocking everyone behind you.
– Don’t litter. It’s the 2020’s. You know better by now.
* If you’re gonna put your girlfriend on your shoulders, at least make sure she’s wearing pants where you can see a little bit of butt crack. But only a little bit. And make sure she has a nice butt.
* If you’re taping the concert on your phone, understand something: no one cares, no one wants to see a YouTube with a shaky picture and crappy sound and the person next to you going “Woo hoo!” every couple of minutes.
* Bring enough edibles for everyone.
* And can we stop the thing where you go to see a band, and the the guy in front of you has to recount all the other times he saw this band?
* Fodor’s Travel website? The guy in the Hobbit movie?
* PHONE TOPIC: Concert Nightmare Stories.