COMPANIES SEEK WORKERS FOR WACKY, FREE PUBLICITY

Now that companies have learned that they can get a ton of free publicity by making up a wacky job and having TV and radio report on it, the jobs are getting ridiculous. We don’t want to name the companies – if they want their name on the radio, they can bloody well pay for ad time:
– Let’s call it “Rhymes with Schmotels.com” is hiring a “poolhop” whose duties include traveling across the country researching hotel pools. The lucky person will be paid $10,000, plus travel and lodging expenses, to travel to six of the “most epic hotel pools” in the United States and document the experience for the website’s visitors.
– A “very large aluminum foil maker” is looking for a “Chief Grilling Officer,” who will travel for two weeks in August to find America’s best barbecue ribs. The person will taste-test “some of the top BBQ rib cities in the country,” while documenting their adventures on the brand’s social media profiles and website. Again, the pay is $10,000.
– The company known for its frustrating “assemble-it-yourself furniture” has an opening for a “happiness hunter” who will temporarily live in Denmark to study what makes a home happy. The person will live for two weeks at a temporary home in Copenhagen and experience “home visits, guided tours, talks and dinners” in a bid to determine the ingredients for a happy home. And, of course, document the experience on social media. You’ll be paid in money and free meatballs.
* That last one doesn’t even make any sense. The ingredients for a happy home do NOT include having to constantly show strangers around your house.
* As far as I’m concerned, they can take Shelf 3 and insert it into Slot D where the sun don’t shine.
* A happy home? Watch reruns of “Everybody Loves Raymond”. Then do the opposite of what they do.
* You could do all three jobs – eat barbecue, meatballs, and then go wash your hands off in the epic hotel pool.
* I’m holding out for the wacky job: “we need someone to test-drive and rate our new sexbots”.