COCAINE HIPPOS BREEDING LIKE RABBITS IN COLUMBIA

Colombian officials are still concerned about so-called “cocaine hippos” taking over the country. The invasive “cocaine hippos” are the descendants of four hippos from Africa that drug cartel leader Pablo Escobar illegally brought into the country. When Escobar died in 1993, his hippos escaped. Thirty years later, those hippos have expanded to a population now threatening humans and the natural environment. In Colombia, they have no natural predators, they are highly territorial they damage the riverbanks and out-compete native animals, like the West Indian manatee, for food resources. One solution is to administer contraceptives to the hippos, but this could take 45 years and cost at least $850,000. Another option is to capture and castrate the hippos. That plan is projected to take 52 years and cost $530,000.
* If they go the contraceptive route, it’s gonna take at least three years to retrofit the condom factories.
* How hard can hippo castration be? It’s not like they can see anyone sneaking up on them with those fat asses.
* Here’s your solution: Have stores advertise locally sourced hippo. Pair it with kale, middle-class women won’t be able to resist it.
* Manatee vs. Hippopoamus – I’d pay to see that.