CHINESE PRESIDENT XI TO SEND U.S. MORE PANDAS

Chinese President Xi Jinping told US business leaders during his visit to America Wednesday that he plans to send additional pandas to American zoos — just a week after reclaiming the three panda bears from the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. Xi said, “We are ready to continue our cooperation with the United States on panda conservation, so as to deepen the friendly ties between our two peoples.”
* “They will return as soon as we implant the spy cameras.”
* Yeah, send us some fresh pandas, will ya? Those other ones were getting kinda ratty.
* Why can’t we make our own pandas? It’s not like China respects OUR patents.
* In exchange, China wants the US to send them something fun: Taiwan.
* Meanwhile, Putin’s thinking: “But just the other day he told me I̲ was his besty!”