UTAH PLAGUED BY ROGUE BANDS OF MALE STRIPPERS
Please don’t touch.
ROBBER TRIES POINTING FINGER GUN AT CLERK
Gimme the money or I’ll poke you?
AUDIO: SECRET DOORS AND ROOMS ARE BECOMING VERY POPULAR
Says man who makes them.
COUPLE MARRIES AT WHOLE FOODS
“Something old / something new / Buy bulk beans / in Aisle Two.”
TEEN PUNCHES DAD IN THE FACE AFTER BEING TOLD TO STOP TEXTING
Parents just don’t understand.
WOMAN BEATS BOYFRIEND WHO STOPPED SEX TO GO CHECK ON DINNER
Ladies – we do and we do and we do for you.
MEATBALL THIEF
Caught him red handed, and mouthed.
COOK STEALS LOBSTER TAILS
From the Bellagio in Las Vegas
NUDISTS NOT GETTING THEIR MAIL
Go figure.