JOEY CHESTNUT WINS HOT DOG EATING CONTEST
Hot diggety dog!
THE BEEF TONGUE BANDIT
Someone’s having a party!
FIREWORKS DELIVERED TO WRONG TOWN
And the rockets red gla—-oh, never mind.
SPACE WEED DESTROYED IN CRASH
Pot shot.
CLOWN-MASKED BURGLAR KID RECOGNIZED BY HIS PARENTS
That’s my boy!
MAN STUCK IN CHIMNEY TRYING TO RESCUE DOG IN BATHROOM
Santa’s comin’ for ya, buddy!
MAN DROVE CAR INTO RESTAURANT TO CHARGE IT UP
Another satisfied Tesla owner.
AUDIO: NEW FATHER GIVES AMAZON REVIEW OF BABY
“4.5 stars, we got the gassy model.”
AUDIO: LAWYER CALLS APPELLATE JUDGE “HONEY”
Don’t you find me appealing?
DRUNK DRIVER FALLS ASLEEP ON POLICE CAR
DUI was ZZZzzzzzz.