COAST GUARD OPENS RECRUITING OFFICE IN OMAHA
Anchors aweigh.
MAN SHOOTS SELF AT WALMART, IN THE REAR
Wondered when something like this would happen.
AUDIO: BEER DEODORANT
Raise your glass if you’re sure.
NORTH DAKOTANS AFRAID OF TSUNAMI
Surf’s up in Bismarck!
MAYORAL CANDIDATE NAMED GEOFFREY EPSTEIN
What’s in a name?
NFL PLAYER FIRED FOR PLAYFUL KISS OF ANOTHER PLAYER
Offensive fumble.
SCIENTISTS TRY ROBO-BUNNIES TO CATCH FLORIDA PYTHONS
The Bunnynator.
OFFICIALS STORM COCKPIT, ARREST PILOT
No, not for arriving on time.
YOUR DOG IS OVERWEIGHT
Not YOUR dog, of course.
LET’S ALL WORRY ABOUT AN ASTEROID HITTING THE MOON
Tell me when it happens, I don’t want to miss a thing.