ELDERLY MAN LOSES HOUSING SUBSIDY AFTER PROSTITUTE FOUND UNDER HIS BED

Authorities say a man living in a Doylestown, Pennsylvania, assisted-living facility has lost his housing subsidy after officials found a prostitute underneath his bed. The man, believed to be in his 70s, paid prostitutes using profits earned from peddling alcohol to fellow residents. According to caregivers at the facility, the man was more mobile than the other residents, and often went on booze runs for his neighbors. The county pays more than $1 million per year to subsidize assisted living care for seniors.
* Maybe she was a caregiver.
* She was, just not the type of care the facility was hoping for.
* So booze and whores. Being old could be more fun than I thought.
* Talk about Golden Years!
* He’s “believed to be in his 70s,” or else he’s a very used-up 40-year-old.
* Meanwhile the guy’s sort of relieved. At least they didn’t find his stash.
* What a letdown for the residents. It’s back to playing bridge in the rec room.
* PHONE TOPIC: Did you ever hide anybody in your room from your parents? Did you get caught?