RIDE-ALONG ACCIDENTALLY EJECTS FROM FIGHTER PLANE ON THE RUNWAY
What does this button do?
PILOT CANCELS FLIGHT, WAS “NOT REALLY FEELING IT”
No one wants a pilot with a sense of adventure anymore.
NEIGHBOR BLASTS TRAIN HORN EVERY DAY
Horny neighbor.
FLORIDA SNAKE HUNT WINNER NAMED
Snake snatcher.
WOMAN FRAMES LATE HUSBAND’S TATTOO
Not creepy at all.
WOMAN ARRESTED FOR SHOOTING HER CELL PHONE
a.k.a. “Pulling an Elvis.”
THIEVES SNEAK THROUGH SEWER, STEAL NIKES
And that stinks.
TEENS STEAL TRAIN, WRECK IT
Proverbs 22:6
MAN OVERBOARD, SPENDS NIGHT ON BUOY FULL OF SEALS
Signed, sealed, and delivered.