NASA STUDYING RECYCLING POO INTO FOOD
For astronauts. Right.
AUDIO: THIS YEAR'S ICE CREAM TRUCK LAWSUIT STORY
Someone’s using the Mister Softee jingle who shouldn’t be.
WOMAN'S OBITUARY: "DON'T VOTE FOR HILLARY"
A reasonable request.
AUDIO: WOMAN SETS CHEATING BOYFRIEND'S CROTCH ON FIRE
“You didn’t think I was gonna find out?”
TEACHER BIT BY RATTLESNAKE
Bit her right in the cafeteria.
SHOPLIFTER HAD CLAMS IN HER PANTS
Frozen clams.
WOMAN KEPT MONEY IN TOASTER OVEN, HUSBAND RETURNS OVEN TO TARGET
Once again, the husband’s fault.
AUDIO: COACH THREW GAME AT LITTLE LEAGUE SOFTBALL WORLD SERIES
To avoid playing the hard team.
RAW MEAT-DROPPING, PAGANS – THIS STORY HAS EVERYTHING
Actually, raw meat and pagans are about it.
SIRI SAVES GUY'S LIFE
Via butt-dial.