THANKS, UPS: THIEF STEALS PAINTING, STEAKS FROM FRONT PORCH
Who orders steaks via UPS?
"GET YOUR FIX AUTOMOTIVE" SHOP ALSO SOLD DRUGS
Speedy service!
BUS DRIVER SUSPENDED FOR READING NEWSPAPER WHILE DRIVING
The bus knows the way.
KMART NOW CALLING PLUS-SIZED "FABULOUSLY SIZED"
If it looks like a Fabulously Sized duck…
PET PIG KIDNAPPED
And nobody’s squealed yet.
TWO BABIES DELIVERED BY SAME COPS IN SAME PARKING LOT
24 hours apart.
NOMINEES FOR THE TOY HALL OF FAME
Wheeeee! Sand!!!
PENIS GRAFFITI LEADS TO BRAWL
Dick move.
NY PIZZA FESTIVAL SCAM
No pizza.
PIZZA HUT MANAGER WOULDN'T LET WORKERS EVACUATE EARLY
(Unlike anyone who eats Pizza Hut.)