COP TASERS 10-YEAR-OLD DURING SAFETY LECTURE
“Any questions?”
SUBWAY NOSE-PICKING MASTURBATOR AT LARGE
“Mr. Debonair”
BURGER KING OFFERS FREE WHOPPERS TO CREEPY CLOWNS ON HALLOWEEN
In select locations
MAN CHARGED IN MURDER, IMITATION OF 71-YEAR-OLD VICTIM
A clever disguise.
HOMEOWNERS FIND GUITAR-PLAYING INTRUDER
On the couch.
AMAZON WANTS TO OPEN YOUR FRONT DOOR
And we’re going to let them.
HIDING FUGITIVE GETS STUCK, CALLS 911
Locks himself in a boiler room.
FLORIDA ROBBER WORE A SCUBA MASK
Didn’t work.
GARBAGE TRUCK CRASHES INTO STORE FULL OF KNICK-KNACKS CALLED "A BEAUTIFUL MESS"
Truth in advertising.