GUNS IN SCHOOLS: TWO STORIES
Bang bang.
UNITED AIRLINES KILLS PASSENGER'S DOG
Made it ride in the overhead bin.
WALMART SECURITY COP SHOPLIFTS OATMEAL AND CONDOMS
Quaker? I hardly touched ‘er.
WHITE MAN IN BLACKFACE ROBBED VEGAS CASINO
Shame on you!
BRIDE ARRESTED FOR DUI ON WAY TO HER WEDDING
Here comes the bride / She DUI’d.
PARKING GARAGE EMPLOYEE RUNS OVER $85,000 VIOLIN
Now it’s Baroque.
SCIENCE TEACHER FEEDS PUPPY TO A SNAPPING TURTLE
Golly, Mr. Science.
VICTIM OF HIT AND RUN TAKES SLEDGEHAMMER TO CAR THAT CAUSED ACCIDENT
Thor, no! Bad Thor, bad!
WOMAN SUES DRAG RESTAURANT FOR FAKE BREAST ASSAULT
Hamburger Mary’s.
IHOP CLOTHING LINE
Tres chic.