CHINA RECALLS ITS PANDAS
Wanted for pandering.
MAN BITES SNAKE
Woke up from a nap.
AUSTRALIAN WOMAN, 110, STILL GOES TO THE GYM THREE TIMES A WEEK
She’ll kick your ass.
MAN MAROONED ON DESERT ISLAND (FOR THREE DAYS)
No phone, no lights, not motorcar. Not a single luxury.
ARSON SUSPECT HAD BABY DUCKS IN HIS PANTS
Because he was a quackpot.
KITTY CAT CRUISE
All paws on deck.