HELP WANTED: CONDOM TESTERS
This is one test you have to cram for.
ART DETECTIVE “RECOVERS” STOLEN VAN GOGH
Art, art, bo-bart / Banana-fanna fo f—
AMERICAN CAVER UNSTUFFED FROM TURKEY CAVITY
Hunky spelunker plunked from gunk.
PLANE LEAVES EVERYONE’S BAGGAGE BEHIND
Hey, look how much fuel we saved!
FLYERS COMPLAIN ABOUT FARTING, SLOBBERY DOG
Still better than the in-flight movie.
AMERICAN IN TURKEY TRAPPED IN CAVE
Close to the edge, down by the river.
GREEK BARS RE-SERVING UNFINISHED DRINKS TO TOURISTS
The alcohol kills the germs, they say.
11,000 MARATHON RUNNERS DISQUALIFIED FOR CHEATING
Los tramposos nunca prosperan.