FAMILY CAT MAILED TO ALBERTA
Postage mew.
4TH GRADERS ASKED TO SOLVE MURDER OF ELF
Who offed the elf?
AUDIO: ATTENTION WALMART SHOPPERS: I QUIT
Teen quits over p.a. system.
DRUNK DRIVER HANDS OVER HAMBURGER INSTEAD OF LICENSE
Cops were grilling him.
MAN LEARNS HIS TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER IS 4,000-YEAR OLD-POTTERY
Bought for 5 bucks at a flea market.
MAN HAS VIBRATING BLUETOOTH COMPASS EMBEDDED IN HIS CHEST
Captain Direction!