GOLDFISH DRIVES CAR 40 FEET
It was a little car.
JAPANESE MAN FALLS INTO HOLE ON TOP OF HIBERNATING BEAR
Crankier than the average bear.
CHINESE MAN CAUGHT SMUGGLING ANTS ONTO AIRPLANE
Surprisingly, not in his pants.
WIFE-CARRYING RACE
Carry on.
MALAYSIAN MAN HAS 10 EXTRA TEETH
Long in the tooth.
PARALYMPIC CURLING STONES STOLEN
Because there’s such a high demand for them?
LASER MOSQUITO KILLER
The Mosquitonator.