TIMMY THE WHALE IS BACK OUT TO SEA
“Is anyone here a marine biologist?”
CHICKENS KILLED BY LOUD WEDDING MUSIC
Another dumb cluck DJ.
TIMMY THE STRANDED WHALE NOW BEING BARGED TO OPEN WATER
A whale now? Whatever happened to Punch the shunned monkey?
SWIMMER SETS RECORD IN CROC-INFESTED RIVER
The secret: never smile (at a crocodile).
HOT? CARRY AN ONION IN YOUR POCKET
Which was the style at the time.
COBRA IN PANTS LEADS TO TOURIST DEATH
Yeah, go ahead, I guess. Put the cobra up my pants.
NEW TEST TELLS IF YOU’RE GOING TO DIE REALLY, REALLY SOON
Don’t worry, it’s not an essay test.
AUDIO: IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NATURIST AND NATURALIST
Dress for the weather.