MONKEY AND CRACK FOUND IN CAR OUTSIDE PRISON
Bubbles?
PARALYMPIC CURLING STONES STOLEN
Because there’s such a high demand for them?
LASER MOSQUITO KILLER
The Mosquitonator.
LOUVRE DIRECTOR RESIGNS AFTER OCTOBER HEIST
She is louvreing.
SEAGULL HIT BY SOCCER BALL, PLAYER SAVES THE DAY
The bird was not a dead duck.
NORWEGIAN CRUISE LINE TIGHTENS DRESS CODE
Ah wahnna ate mah roast bheef in mah gym showurts.
RICHARD III HITS AUDIENCE MEMBER WITH A SWORD
Was ever woman in this humour wooed?