BALLET DIRECTOR HITS CRITIC IN FACE WITH DOG DOO
Pas de deux deux.
WOMAN SWIMS 1.5 MILES IN ANTARCTIC WATERS
Cold-hearted woman.
INDIA: HUG A COW FOR VALENTINE’S DAY
How romooooo-ntic.
MAN ATTEMPTS TO STEAL LENIN’S BODY
Yoko distraught.
SPANISH COURT ALLOWS NUDIST TO WALK AROUND TOWN
Attención ahora.
ZOO DIRECTOR SERVES ANIMALS AT PARTY
Come see what’s cookin’ at the zoo!
UGANDAN MAN HAS 102 CHILDREN
…that he knows about.